Crossroads heart-throb Ronnie Allen has learned to live with accusations that he is gay.  The handsome, 50 year old bachelor has talked frankly for the first time about the showbiz gossip that followed him for years. 

 

The whispering campaign started when Ronnie set up home with his close friend, actor Brian Hankins, who once played a doctor in Crossroads.  Since Brian's death from cancer seven years ago, the only person to share Ronnie's life is his glamorous co-star Sue Lloyd.

 

"I'm not going to deny the gay rumours," he said.  "What I will say is that my relationship with Sue is fulfilled and fulfilling in every way - a very passionate sexual relationship.  Just because we can't line up a child for every year we've been together doesn't mean we haven't been active in that direction.

 

"The constant rumours do not upset me any more.  People are free to interpret things however they like.  The simple truth is that I've never found a woman I've wanted to share my life with until Sue came along."

 

Sue, 44, finds the gay label harder to accept.  "He's not gay - and I can vouch for that," she said.  "He's all man.  And you can take that from me - I'm pretty experienced in these matters."

 

Ronnie describes Brians' death as "the worst experience of my life."  It is clearly an ordeal for him to talk about it.

 

"Brian had been ill for about two years," he said.  "It started with lung cancer, but he died after it spread to his brain.  I did my best to help with the illness, but it was very difficult because I was in Birmingham during the week and Brian was in London. 

 

"It was very distressing to see that happen to someone you care about.  It made me deeply pessimistic about life.  It puts being fired from Crossroads into perspective.  It makes redundancy seem fairly unimportant."

 

It was while Ronnie was still recovering from his grief over Brian's death that Sue landed her part in Crossroads - and came into his life.  "It was like a light going on when I first saw her," he said.

 

In just three weeks the couple became lovers.  But for a year they kept their affair under wraps - because of Sue's romance with another man, film producer Richard du Vivier.

 

She broke down in tears as she talked about it for the first time.  She said:  "We had to live a lie because I was desperate not to hurt anyone.  Richard had left his wife for me six years before, and here I was deceiving him.  It was a real double life.  During the week I was sleeping with Ronnie in Birmingham, and at the weekends I went back to Richard."

 

The deceit took its toll - Ronnie and Sue had violent rows.  "I wanted her so badly.  I wanted to be with her all the time," Ronnie said.  "It hurt so much when she disappeared at the weekends.  I couldn't even talk to her on the phone, I deliberately told her never to give me her number in London, because I knew the temptation to ring her would be too great.

 

"She was so worried about hurting Richard that she banned me from certain areas of London and particular restaurants.

 

"I was very selfish - from the moment I knew I wanted her I set out to seduce her.  I asked her to come and look at a house with me and have dinner afterwards - and I'd only got one thing in mind.  I was jealous of her boyfriend.  I behaved atrociously because I went all-out to steal her away from him.

 

"That summer we both went on holiday to Majorca - me to stay with friends at one end of the island, her to stay with Richard at the other end.  I couldn't bear being without her.  So one day I hired a car and drove the length of the island to try to find her.  I didn't know where she was staying, but I knew which town she was in.

 

"I knew it was crazy, but I was desperate to see her.  I wandered the streets looking at every face, hoping it would be hers.  But I never saw her."