The Commander is about to leave the police service ... to become a priest. Which is why his office is set out like
a monk's cell. Well, that is typical of The Comic Strip, where nothing is quite as it seems at first.
The interior pub scenes were being shot in a disused hostelry in Battersea, London, which was where 20-stone comedian
Robbie Coltrane was to be found. He was looking mean. He said: "I play the ultimate trouble-shooter, an
urban guerrella who is very, very macho. I'm a man of few words."
Which explains why, when asked what it was like to walk across a ten-foot high breakwater with the Atlantic lashing him,
he replied: "Yeah, it was kinda scary. It was just J.C. and the elements."
On the other side of London, in Chiswick, a gymnasium had been transformed into a Devon hotel bedroom, which is shared
by Dennis and a drugs squad officer, played by Jennifer Saunders.
Adrian was shivering uncontrollably and trying to warm up for another "take." "Well I'm soaking wet, aren't I?"
he said. "I'm supposed to have just come out of the sea..." And in the background a crew memner got ready another
bucket of water to drench him.
He glanced sideways at Jennifer, who was looking rather fetching as she swung from a couple of rings in the gym.
"Jennifer and I have spent most of the day in bed," he said with a leer. "She has to roll away from me in the shot -
but it's great between takes. I may be a bit of a loser in the film, but at least I do achieve some success."
If the plot doesn't seem to make a great deal of sense, that is quite as it should be. It may not make much more
sense when it is realeased later this year. But as long as it makes you laugh, that is all that matters.